LESSON 3
LESSON 3
What do you really want to do? (Mary's story)
Mary’s Story
“I’ve just had the worst day of my life,” was the answer I got when I asked the upset young woman sitting across the aisle if she was okay. It was the last train from Belfast to Dublin and Mary was on her way to a job interview the next day. “I’ve just failed my driving test and got yet another no to a job application. Who waits until they’re 24 to take their driving test?” she said, chastising herself. “I’m probably wasting my time going to Dublin for this interview.”
Mary is a Marketing Graduate who should know all about promoting herself in an increasingly competitive job market. This was more than ‘a bad day’. She was weary from all the rejections and disappointments and clearly in no frame of mind to impress an employer at an interview.
For Mary this was not an opportunity to display her talents, but rather another painful step in the process of trying to find a job. Financial pressures had forced her back home to live with her parents in Belfast, and Mary was desperate to get work.
It was when I asked her, “What would you really like to do?” that Mary looked up and her eyes engaged me properly for the first time. With a nervous half-smile, she told me that her ambition was to open a clothes shop for older women. Mary knew exactly what the shop would sell and where it would be located. We chatted about how she could do something now to start to make this a reality - find out what older women in that area really want, identify gaps in the market, assess the competition, identify potential designers and suppliers, and so on. Basic research and creating links were two priorities if Mary was ever going to make her dream a reality. Her marketing brain started to kick-in and she was buzzing.
It seems to me, there is little point in dreams and ambition if we never do anything to make them happen. What was she waiting for? Mary could continue to apply for jobs and re-sit her driving test - but now she had a project that needed some proper attention. Within a few minutes her whole attitude changed. She saw she could take control of her own situation. Rather than being a passive cog waiting for things to happen, Mary could see actions she could take to move her project forward.
“I’ve just had the worst day of my life,” was the answer I got when I asked the upset young woman sitting across the aisle if she was okay. It was the last train from Belfast to Dublin and Mary was on her way to a job interview the next day. “I’ve just failed my driving test and got yet another no to a job application. Who waits until they’re 24 to take their driving test?” she said, chastising herself. “I’m probably wasting my time going to Dublin for this interview.”
Mary is a Marketing Graduate who should know all about promoting herself in an increasingly competitive job market. This was more than ‘a bad day’. She was weary from all the rejections and disappointments and clearly in no frame of mind to impress an employer at an interview.
For Mary this was not an opportunity to display her talents, but rather another painful step in the process of trying to find a job. Financial pressures had forced her back home to live with her parents in Belfast, and Mary was desperate to get work.
It was when I asked her, “What would you really like to do?” that Mary looked up and her eyes engaged me properly for the first time. With a nervous half-smile, she told me that her ambition was to open a clothes shop for older women. Mary knew exactly what the shop would sell and where it would be located. We chatted about how she could do something now to start to make this a reality - find out what older women in that area really want, identify gaps in the market, assess the competition, identify potential designers and suppliers, and so on. Basic research and creating links were two priorities if Mary was ever going to make her dream a reality. Her marketing brain started to kick-in and she was buzzing.
It seems to me, there is little point in dreams and ambition if we never do anything to make them happen. What was she waiting for? Mary could continue to apply for jobs and re-sit her driving test - but now she had a project that needed some proper attention. Within a few minutes her whole attitude changed. She saw she could take control of her own situation. Rather than being a passive cog waiting for things to happen, Mary could see actions she could take to move her project forward.
Three days after I got a call and she said Des, I’m just calling to say thank you very much. I said “you are very welcome” and she said “by the way, I got the job”. I said “Right? Tell me what happened?”. She said: “well, the interview was with the marketing director and he asked me ‘what’s your future ambition?’ and she said: “I want to do your job in 3 years time when you become Marketing Director here”. And he smiled and said “yeah, they all say that. But tell me, what do you really would like to do in the future?”
Mary replied “actually, my long term goal is to open a clothes shop for older women and what I’m doing at the moment is checking on Google to see what clothes suppliers; I’m looking at prices on Amazon and vintage styles on eBay; I’m doing a survey of my Mum’s friends to see what they think is needed; I’m talking to different people in relation to funding; I’m making a list o local clothes shops and what they offer. What does all of this tell the employer?
That she’s proactive. She’s driven. She’s a go getter. She’s got skills. She knows what she’s trying to do. All of these are the skills that employers are looking for - initiative, planning, drive, ambition, focus, organisation, etc.
Parents often send me their student children to me - “go talk to Des, he knows all about this work stuff”. And I sit and I say to them: “What are you doing at the moment?” and they say “I’m applying for jobs” I say: “Great. What else are you doing?” and they “well you know, checking out the internet”. “But what else?” and they’ve got nothing to say. They look at me blankly.
So, it’s really important that you start this whole process not searching for jobs, but thinking about what you really want to do. So, what would you really like to do? You know, we have only so many years left: we are only here once I think, so what’s the big dream? What’s the big ambition? What do you really want to achieve? What do you really want to create? What do you really want to leave behind?
What about you?
The following morning I told this story to an enterprise specialist with responsibility for helping people to start their own business. When I mentioned how asking Mary, “What would you really like to do?” had provided such a spark, his expression changed. It was clear that no one had ever asked him the question either. His body language told me that whatever he wanted to do, it certainly wasn’t a government role, trying to encourage people into self-employment. And he told me that like Mary, many of his clients felt forced into going it alone because the job market had dried up. ‘Reluctant entrepreneurs’ is what he called them.
The old world of work allowed for only two options - sending out CVs in the hope of landing that illusive job or starting your own business. ‘Work it Out!’ charts a different path and as the name implies, it involves developing different, discrete pieces of work and linking these together.
There is little point in us having all of the skills, knowledge and experience that we do if we don't share it. Why else are we here? And the nice part of all of this is that we can also get well paid for doing this effectively.
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EXERCISE - What do you really want to do?As you embark on this path it is important to think about the question, ‘What would you really like to do? This provides the key to the direction you should take. So, step back from your current role, or situation, for a couple of minutes and ask yourself:
These are the sort of questions that help us to clarify what we should be doing, what products we should be creating and what we should be sharing and making available to others. Our key starting questions always has to be ‘What do you really want to do?’ If you don’t know the answer don’t worry! Just concentrate on your key skills. what you enjoy, where your success have been, what you are passionate about, etc . Try and see how you can use all of this to help others. |
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